What was that?

So, last night....really weird.  I think I had a small manic episode or something.  I was SOOO wound up, could not calm down, felt wired and like I could conquer the world, which is a complete 360 from how I felt the day before.  It took a good 30 minutes of soothing from my husband to get me to the point that I could lay down and even consider resting my eyes.  Was it a medication glitch?  I am just getting back on my meds after about 6 weeks off of them, and Dr. C has asked that my psychiatrist add Klonopin to my daily list (Also on Latuda, 80MG, and 300MG of Wellbutrin).  That script is coming via the mail (hopefully today) and I was told that that should also help with some of my daily anxiety.

So, yeah, 6 weeks without meds.  I thought I could do it.  I thought that I knew what was best for my body and mind and that I was strong enough to handle it.  I thought wrong.  Almost a complete crash and burn.  If Dr.C wasn't so liberal, well, I am pretty sure that I would have ended back in the hospital.  She is very (very) calm when it comes to talking about suicide and my thoughts regarding it.  So as long as I don't say "When I leave here I am going to kill myself," it's ok to tell her what I have been thinking and feeling.  That's a huge help.  I think that there is so much stigma around the concept of suicide that people don't want to discuss it.  And yet I find that when I DON'T talk about it when I am going through a down time it's ten times worse.  Allowing me to vent it, and then her being able to counter-argue it, helpful with two thumbs up.

Today has been good...I found an online forum called DepressionForums.org and am really enjoying reading some of the posts and links to blogs that are on there.  Work is VERY slow now that students are in their summer session, so I have the ability to putz around on the computer a lot more.  Check the forums out, and let me know if you join!