PsyD Stress Out

So, I have decided, with a little bit of pushing and nudging from Dr. C to go back to school.  For my PsyD in Child and Family.  I know, right?

I've talked about it before, and now seems to be a good time to go for it.  I need something positive in my life to work towards, and I am such a school nerd.  I am taking an Adult Psychology course right now at the community college where I work, and I love it.  I know that I can be successful in a program like this, but I didn't expect the application process to be so stressful!

In the past, when I have asked people for references to get a new job, I was always greeted with an "Of course."  But asking someone for a reference for a Doctoral program, I have gotten a lot of shut and locked doors.  So frustrating.  Right now I have my current employer and my advisor from my Master's program who are willing to write one for me,  but I need one more.  Last night, I got myself so worked up about it that I was physically sick.  Today, I wrote Dr. C this morning and said that I was just going to put the whole process aside for the day and breathe.  I am not looking to start until Sept 2014 anyway, so I have time.

I also had a pretty deep conversation with Dr. C about what happens if I start the program and have another breakdown.  She is pretty convinced that that phase is behind us and that we are working towards recovery/maintenance right now.  I am glad that at least she is confident of that because I feel like I could fall apart any day now.  I think she's doing that whole "If I tell her she's ok, she might believe and act as if" routine.  And I am pretty sure that I am falling for it.

Anyway, I will keep you all posted with the status of the application and how things are going.  Anyone out there want to give me a letter of rec?