She pulls the blanket up to her chin, curling up her arms with fisted
hands. Rolling onto her left side, she cuddles in tighter, bringing in
her knees as close as she can to her stomach. The blanket, she
believes, acts as a shield. It's protecting her from all that is
outside. Because she knows that he is out there, and he lays in wait
for her to drop her guard and dare to get out of bed.
Tears fall
over the bridge of her nose and drop onto the pillow below her. She had
promised herself that she would not give into him, that she would and
could be stronger than that. She had given in so many times before,
with disastrous results on each occurrence. But her defenses have
surely been weakened by all these attacks, and her heart wasn't in it
for another fight.
Chills ran up her backbone and up to the little
hairs on the back of her neck as she felt the Lion enter her bedroom.
He paced up and down the end of the California King bed...making it take
only two strides and having all the confidence in the world. His loud,
hot breathes made her stomach turn; she knew she was in trouble. She
scrunched her eyes tighter and prayed to a God she wasn't sure was even
there that He would make the Lion go away.
A deep rumble of dark laughter came from him.
"You cannot pray me away," he scoffed. "I am not going anywhere until you are dead."
Her
eyes blazed open. Terror filled her already tightened chest. The Lion
stopped his pacing, and placed his two front paws on the end of the
bed. She curled in even closer to herself, not wanting any part of her
body to feel him.
Slowly, she felt the blanket being pulled off of
her. She tried to hold on tight to the top of the blanket and pull
back, but the fight was useless. He removed her protector, and then
easily leaped onto the bed. She rolled on to her stomach, arms
underneath her, head twisted to the side, as if this would protect her
more. He slowly slid up beside her. She could feel his mane sweep up
the side of her left arm; her shoulder jumped. He was breathing in her
ear, and the tears that were slowly falling before began to pick up the
pace until there was almost a waterfall coming out of her eyes.
"Just
do it," he said, motioning to her side table. She glanced up. It was
full of pills, prescription and over-the-counter, whatever she could get
her hands on. She had put them there to just look at them, to just
think about what would or what could happen.
"I don't think I want to," she stuttered.
"Yes, you do," he laughed at her. "Why else would you go through all this trouble?"
She
thought about her daughter, sick in the other room, but sleeping. She
looked at the clock and wondered when her husband would be home. She
was supposed to be going to work, and he was coming home to watch the sick babe. Was there enough time? Was the Lion right? Should she just do it?
The
lion easily straddled her on the bed, and with one front paw, forced
her to turn over. She sat up quickly, terrified of what he might do
next.
"Take that one first," he motioned to a prescription that
she just had filled. It was an older prescription for sleeping pills.
30 pills. Shaking, she took the bottle and easily opened the childproof
cap. She poured nine to ten pills in her hand, shocked that they were
so little. Such little pills could do so much damage, she thought. The
Lion handed her a cup, smiling.
"Do it. You know you want to,"
he laughed at her. She looked at him, locked eyes, popped the handful
of pills in her mouth, and took the cup from his hands. She hesitated
only for a second before swallowing the overdose. "More," he instructed
her. "Take the rest." In two more handfuls, she had emptied the
contents of the bottle into her empty stomach. Fear filled her, and she
wondered if she should run into the master bathroom and make herself
vomit the pills up. Her thought pattern was broken as the lion handed
her another bottle. She repeated the process, again and again until
there were 5 empty bottles on her nightstand.
"Rest, now," he
instructed her. He dismounted the bed, and tossed the discarded blanket
back at her. She held the top and tossed the rest towards the bottom
of the bed, watching it fall down like a landing kite. She laid back
down on her bed, and assumed the same curled up position that she had
previously. Her tears had long stopped, but the pillow remained wet and
stained from the previous session. The Lion circled three times, and
laid on the ground next to her bed. He was going to guard her, make
sure that she remained on the bed and let the poison do its job.
She
closed her eyes. The decision that she had been attempting to make was
final done. It was all done. Her body relaxed, she let her mind think
of sweet memories. She took a deep breath, and just let death happen.
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