The Pool

The water was warm.  She stepped in up to her calves and enjoyed the ripples in the water as they danced about her legs.  Two more steps into the pool and the it was at her thighs.  Her swim dress played with the water, sashaying back and forth like a graceful dancer.  She continued her decent, reaching the bottom of the pool with two more paces.

She leaned back and allowed her hair to get wet, using both her hands to make sure the water fully engulfed her hairline.  She took a breath, closed her eyes, and eased her legs up towards the surface until she was floating.  A sad smile played across her lips.  While she had been longing for the experience of feeling free like the pool let her feel, her heart still felt trapped.

It had been days, perhaps weeks, since she had truly felt happy.  On the outside to others she appeared to be in a good place; her boss had even complemented her on the fact that she seemed so happy to work with her demanding students.  But that mask was a heavy burden to handle.  Behind the facade, tears would stream down her face and make her gasp for air.  Her heart felt like it had been crushed, stamped on, pulverized.  She longed for the ability to stay in her bed, blankets pulled over her head to block any source of light.

She couldn't eat; while the food would go down her throat it ended with incredible stomach pains that made her not want to repeat the process.  She wavered between not being able to sleep for days and sleeping for 15 hours or more at a time.  The provocation of the later, she discovered, was the black, plastic bottle that laid in the fridge.  Too tall for even the tallest shelf, her newly beloved, Tequila Rose, seemed to be the only thing that soothed her spirit.  "It's just strawberry milk with a little kick," she convinced herself nightly as she over-poured her cup.  Her husband looked at her with a disapproving glance, but knew better than to approach the subject.

Her eyes opened as a cloud passed over the sun and she was snapped out of her thoughts. 

Thump, thump.

She felt her heart beating hard.  It seemed to play like a loud radio under the water.

Thump, thump.

Her eyes filled with tears and she choked down a sob that tried to escape.

Thump, thump.

She turned over in the pool, floating face down, allowing her hair to float around her face.  She remained there, the air that escaped from her lips creating a sea of bubbles that quickly raced to the surface.

Thump, thump.

Her lungs burned.  Her air supply was gone and she knew that she needed to turn over and take a breath.

Thump, thump.

She couldn't will herself to do it.  Her eyes popped open and frantically looked around.

Thump, thump.

She calmed herself internally.  She refused to splash about and elected to let it happen on it's own.

Thump....thump...

She closed her eyes for the last time.

Thump............................