Bits and Pieces

I suppose that I could scribble out my life story for you here, but then that would leave me nothing to blog about on days that my mind draws a blank.  So, we'll just tell it in bits and pieces.

Right now my family consists of me, my husband (let's call him J), and my three children : L, Big A, and Little A.  We have a dog and a cat and a tank full of fish.  Our house is a standard 3 bedroom-two bathroom ranch in a little subdivision just north of Chicago.  J and I both work; he has been at his company in the IT department for over 15 years and I work as an advisor at the local community college.  We are doing "well-enough" right now, no extravagant trips to Hawaii or Disney world, but we pay the mortgage, the kids go to Catholic school, and we have a little money for pizza on the weekends.  Overall, it should be a happy life.  It should be everything that I want.  But, as fellow depression-junkies will tell you, should doesn't mean anything when you are down.

My latest round of depression started in September 2011.  Just about 21 month ago.  Long time, and yet it seems like yesterday.  I was in the process of getting psychological clearance to have lap-band surgery (more on this to come) and after meeting with the psychologist, well, things just started to fall apart.  My current therapist, Dr. C, describes it as "ripping the bandage off of years of pain and leaving me there to bleed."  Except the bleeding was more of a hemorrhage and quickly started to get out of control.  I was placed on medication that I swear made me even more crazy, I was placed into day programs to learn methods of coping (umm...big failure there), I was hospitalized when it seemed like my doctors didn't know what else to do with me.  It wasn't until January of this year when I started working really hard with Dr. C that things started to calm down a bit.  (Note:  I actually started to work with her in October of 2012, but due to my needing to build trust and other issues, the real work didn't start until January.)

So, here I am now.  Back at work after being on leave since October 2012, learning how to put depression aside during the day so I can concentrate on being a mom, a wife, a good worker.  Then at night, I curl into my beloved bed, pull up the covers, let J rub my back, and release the demons.

Bits and Pieces for today....more to come tomorrow...